I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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