Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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