I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
