I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize