He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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