Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize