It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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