I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
