Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
