I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
