Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So here I am, sexting at work.
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