The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
