No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.