I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
