You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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