How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
