WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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