some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Mom said you looked used
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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