Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
