While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
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