I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
