You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
