You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
