Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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