i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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