Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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