haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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