I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
