If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
