just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
its liver damage thursday
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
