May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
