So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
