I should be sponsored by Trojan
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
