I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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