Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
