i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i think im in europe. pls send help
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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