Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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