Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
