Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
