No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
