She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just want nice things and good sex
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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