Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
