I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
