I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
