You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
