dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
