He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
