I hate all girls vehemently.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Two words: blizzard sex
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize