Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
