They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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