Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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