Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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