Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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