HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
