they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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