Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
