Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
there was a trapeze. enough said
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
