D3 body, D1 cock
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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