It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
