I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
