u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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