Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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