You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
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In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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